If my car has a vacuum hose why doesn't it keep itself clean?

 How do they get teflon to stick to a pan when nothing sticks to teflon?

If the plural of mouse is mice why isn't the plural of house hice?

Why is it called a boxing ring when it is actually a square?

Why do we "put our two cents in" but only get "a penny for our thoughts" - where is the extra penny going?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why do people pay to go to the top of a tall building and then pay again to look through a telescope at things on the ground?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables what is baby oil made from?

Why is it that doctors and lawyers are just practicing?

Why do we say "heads up" when we actually mean take cover?

When there is a crumb on the table and you cut it in half do you have two crumbs or two halves of one crumb?

Why are you "in" a movie but "on" TV?

Why do dogs get mad when you blow in their face but stick their head out the window when you take them for a ride?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they already know there's not enough money in the account to cover their fee?

When does it stop being partly cloudy and become partly sunny?

Can you daydream at night?

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs why don't they fall through the floor?

 If the Bermuda Triangle makes things disappear why doesn't the triangle disappear?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Why can't you nail jello to a wall?

Why do square pieces of cookie dough come out of the oven as round cookies?

How do you know if you are crying underwater?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind what is an empty desk a sign of?

Why does a trip in an airplane end at a place called terminal?

Why do we say duck when we mean hide? 

Why is Charlie short for Charles when they both have the same number of letters?

Why does the label on children's Tylenol warn you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles?

Why do we press harder on the buttons of a remote control when we know the batteres are weak?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

If thickets weren't thick would they be called thinets?

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

Can crop circles be square?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

When snow melts where does the

white go?